Mending Myself

Tunnel Silhouette, Image from Pixabay

Tunnel Silhouette, Image from Pixabay

In a dream I perished into the night like a shadow
My closed eyes hid me from myself; from you
In my blindness, I opened my eyes
and peered slowly through my dim haze
Was I even alive?
I blinked wildly
Were my eyes deceiving me?
I rubbed them and failed to feel my own hands
“Who am I?”
I whispered to nothing I could see
My sense of self was gone
Into this darkness I returned
since I could not find myself
And the light started to blind me
I retreated to my former self
my deaf self and the one who could not talk
She couldn’t move. She trembled,
shaking violently,
I let my screams take me
my only speech
the only language I knew
When I heard her, I was not certain
Sometime during this madness
she came to me
Wrapped her smooth arms around me
And comforted me
She sang to me
No words but I still understood
she was me accepting myself for who I am
for who I have become
she was taking me home
away from my attempted murder
my infant soul smothered
on the bay of my existence
she rubbed the blood off of me
she wrapped my wounds
she kissed me
she told me she loved me
but I could not stay here
it wasn’t safe
I needed to pick myself up
because she couldn’t
She was never there
it was always me
crying alone in the corner



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