There was a huge gate and fence surrounding a building. This metal fence had locks all over it. The fence was protecting a house full of cats. There was even a river running between the entryway of the house and the gate. There were homeless women near the entryway of the gate, on the outside, looking in towards the house. A female professor was talking to the women and insisting on all the reasons why they should come for Thanksgiving. The women end up leaving, insisting they would be too much of a burden. The professor doesn’t like this answer and decides to follow the three women. Before they leave, I make eye contact with one of the women. I recognized her, but she left before I could say anything.
I thought the sound of my voice would puncture my ear drums,
You did not hear me
I thought I could call you
But you do answer your phone
I thought I could write you
But you do not respond
On your time is when I have you
I thought I could make you feel my pain,
So I grabbed you and held you close to me
I closed the physical gap between us
But you never felt my pain
You never heard my pain
I decided to make you see it
I sliced my skin open
I let the wounds bleed
But you never saw the red
And I took your hands to my wounds
You caressed my punctured skin
But you never felt my pain
I let myself die the last time in your arms, and when I died, I stopped caring about showing myself to you
I walked away from the only person I cared about more than myself. I’ll never know if you walked out after me or simply watched me walk away while you held my broken heart in your hands, still oblivious to my pain.
We were caught in a world hidden from us. Sheltered. Our bodies had been altered. A wheel placed on the back of our head like a hard pillow. This was so they could wheel us away if we passed out. Sarah Michelle Gellar was there and telling us not to take off the wheel because we didn’t know what it granted us. Citizenship, and freedom. I took mine off and threw it in an arena. One like at a baseball game. I left and went to a party, a meeting. It seemed I was at school and I sat at the desk. The rectangle desks became more round. I looked behind me to hear the man talking. First I drank some sort of orange juice with oreo cookie chunks in it. He was saying that there was a whole world out there that we need to explore. Nobody listened but I looked at him and pointed to my left ear. I mouthed the words that I am listening. I hoped nobody understood my signing, and he seemed to look nervous. We bolted from the room. We went past Sarah and kept going through jungle leaves downhill towards the gate of freedom. I worried about my citizenship and if I should have shaved the back of my head in order to see the bolt holes. I kept running.
When I miss you, I smoke.
I let the cigarette linger on my lips,
A reminder of your taste.
I hold the smoke in
And keep holding until I can bare it no longer.
I slowly exhale and wonder about you.
Where are you?
Making me guess, I think makes you feel powerful.
More like a man,
Taking care of business
But my heart should be your business too,
And more so than the chasing game.
I miss you, and so I smoke.
And hope the fire scorches my lungs until I can no longer breathe
Because not breathing is better than the absence of you.
Your body is art. I never knew it until the day you showed me. The colors on your skin allowed my imagination to take over. Somebody took the time to emphasize the beauty within you. How lucky they are!
A long time ago, my friend Vladimir got me a President George Bush puppet. This puppet is quite large and I play with it often. In my dream however, Vladimir helped me to assisinate the puppet. I don’t know why we had to kill the puppet, but after we did, we realized our mistake. The puppet was real. He lived. His size never changed, but he was a real person, and now we had to hide the body. We argued about the best place to do this at, and then I awoke.
I was at work, and my coworker got up to leave for the day while I was finishing up a final project. My coworker placed a pistol on my desk and walked out of the room. We shared the same desk, with both our monitors and seats aligned next to each other. I was stunned that she had done this. In my dream, I work in a highly secured area and guns are absolutely not permitted. I thought about my options and decided the best thing to do would be to take it to security. I grabbed the gun and put it into my left jacket pocket before heading towards the exit and the security stand with the metal detectors. There was a huge line and then it was only me standing there. I explained to the guards what had happened and told them that I didn’t want the gun to sit on my desk all weekend long. I explained that I didn’t know what to do and thought my best option would be to turn it in. The guards laughed at me and said they would return the gun to its proper place. I handed it over and was extremely relieved.
I had left the building and was meeting my best friend who I will call Vladimir here, which in real life holds a significant inside joke. We were on our way to look at a boat and a travel trailer. We went inside the travel trailer which was very similar to the travel trailer my ex husband owned. It was a small, 23 foot trailer and was decorated pretty much in the exact same way. Only, the entryway floor had a secret compartment, except that the compartment was clear and it had a small entrance in it. So basically, it was like a box in the floor with a clear panel that could be lifted. Inside, I could clearly see a cat. It was a grown cat, but she was about the size of a kitten still. She was a mother cat, and I was extremely worried about her. I asked Vladimir what to do but he thought the cat was fine. I asked him to look at her cage. She had food in there and a cushion for a bed, but the rest of the cage had a yellow substance at the bottom of the area. I thought the mom cat was trapped and in no way could get out of the cage and had been urinating where she slept and ate. I tasted the substance and realized that it was only vitamins.