Identity and Death

I have a new boyfriend; well, by “new” I mean we have only been dating since August and therefore not a year yet. Still, the relationship is a good one. We have a lot in common. We are both foreigners, he is Russian while I am Romanian. I had one of my first dreams about him right after the New Year. In my blog, he will simply be called, “The Russian.”

Part One:

We were discussing and arguing about our heritages and the uniqueness of each of them. I told him that I have to accept my Romanian side because I cannot run away from it. I cannot outsmart my past. I told him that he must act on the same impulse himself. He nodded at me in understanding.

Part Two:

I was attending a new university. I believe it was Western Washington University, and I was on a campus tour. The woman leading the tour was continuously discussing an “old” professor. By the way she was discussing him, I knew that he was dead and his death happened recently. I decided to ask the woman about him and inquired, “What had really happened to him?”

She explained to me that he had been fighting a custody battle for his three sons. He had unfortunately lost the battle and decided to commit suicide. He shot himself, but I am unclear in my dream as to if it was in his head or his heart.

While she was saying this, she was caught up in emotion. I could feel it spilling out of her, and it caught in my throat like a lump. I gasped at her, in shock of her telling me so blatantly. I then apologized and said that I shouldn’t have asked. She said it wasn’t a problem, but then she asked to be excused and rushed off to the restroom.